


Someone Saved My Life Tonight

by Alec_Trevelyan_006



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Brothers, F/M, Other, Parallel Universes, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29185374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alec_Trevelyan_006/pseuds/Alec_Trevelyan_006
Summary: In a Parallel universe Brian has a twin brother named Byron.  In this universe, an event changes Brian's life and possibly Queen as we know it.  Brian ends up paralyzed after a car accident.  How will this change things for him?  Will he still join Queen?  Read to find this out and more.
Relationships: Brian May/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 1





	1. So Many Faces In And Out Of My Life

**Chapter 1: So Many Faces In And Out Of My Life**

_'So many faces in and out of my life. Some will last. Some will be just now and then. Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes. I'm afraid it's time for goodbye again.'-Say Goodbye To Hollywood-Billy Joel_

I sit there holding my brother’s hand. The voices of our parents only sound like murmurs. I can’t believe they want to let him go. My heart feels like it’s shattering into a million pieces. Somehow, I have to stop them.

My mum puts her hand on my shoulder and I look up at her.

“Byron, you’ve been pretty quiet. What’s on your mind?” My mum asks.

“It’s nothing.” I quietly say.

“Are you sure?”

“No, not really.”

“So, what’s eating you?”

“Why do you want to let Brian go?” I ask. My voice cracks as soon as the words leave my lips and I can’t help letting my unshed tears fall.

“It’s what’s best for him.” My mum says.

“No, it’s what’s best for you.” I sob.

“What do you want us to do?” My dad asks finally breaking his silence.”

“Let him live.”

“Are you going to care for him if he ends up like this for the rest of his life?” My mum asks.

“If it comes down to that, then yes.”

“Byron…” My dad says.

“Look, I know that you only wanted one of us.” I growl.

“That’s not true.” My mum says.

“Really?” I ask.

“We were only planning on one child, but when we found out we were having twins we were overjoyed.”

“Funny how you’ve only shown Brian love.” I coldly say.

“We love you both the same.” My dad says.

“And yet only one of us gets everything they ever wanted.”

“We’ve never played favorites.” My mum says.

“Sure.”

“I’m sorry you feel like that’s not the truth.”

“It is the truth!” I shout.

“You know it’s not.” My dad says trying to calm me down.

“It’s not, now get out of my sight!”

“Byron…” My mum says.

“Out!”

My parents say nothing more and silently leave the room. I let out a long sigh through my nose and put my head in my hands. How could this happen to me? How could my own parents not love me? I sigh again and turn my attention back to my brother. Mentally I try to figure out what I’m going to do if he never wakes up.

As I’m lost in my thoughts, I just hear the door open. I inwardly groan thinking my parents have come back to torment me. Someone puts their hand on my shoulder and I look up at them. I’m shocked to see Melissa standing there. Melissa has been friends with both me and Brian since we were four. Besides my brother, she’s been my only friend.

“How’s he doing?” Melissa asks.

“No change.” I quietly say.

“Byron, I’m sorry.” Melissa says.

“Why are you sorry? You’re not the one who nearly killed him.”

“I know, it just felt like the right thing to say.”

I let out a long sigh and say nothing.

“He’ll wake up. He’s a fighter.”

“I know.” I say with a sigh.

“Stupid drunk.” Melissa mumbles.

“You can say that again.” I say.

“Stupid drunk.”

I let out a long frustrated sigh in response to that. A stupid drunk nearly killed the one person who truly cares about me. Why couldn’t this have happened to me? I should be the one lying in a hospital bed hooked up to a bunch of machines that are keeping me alive. I sigh again and put my head in my hands.

 _‘God, why are you doing this to me?’_ I think.

As I’m lost in my thoughts, someone walks in the room and roughly grabs my shoulder. I look up startled and see Mr. Jones standing there. Mr. Jones is the father of Kim, who was Brian’s girlfriend. I inwardly groan when I see him. He’s hellbent on making Brian pay for ‘killing’ his daughter.

“Let me go, or I’ll shove my foot so far up your ass that you’ll have to have it surgically removed.” I growl.

He let’s me go and stares at me.

“What do you want?” I ask.

“You know what I want.” Mr. Jones says.

“You aren’t going to get what you want until Brian wakes up.” I say.

“And when will that be?” Mr. Jones asks.

I give a shrug of my shoulders as an answer to his question.

“You don’t know?”

“No, I don’t.” I say.

“How could you not know?”

“I don’t know because the doctors haven’t said when he’ll wake up. For all I know, he’ll never wake up.”

“Well, he needs to pay for what he did.” Mr. Jones says.

“The person who killed your daughter is already in jail. Brian hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.”

I raise one eyebrow and look at him puzzled.

“You don’t know about what he did to my daughter?” Mr. Jones asks.

“If I knew, you wouldn’t have gotten a puzzled look from me.” I say.

“Your brother raped Kim.” Mr. Jones says.

“He what?” I ask shocked.

“He raped Kim and got her pregnant.”

“I find that very hard to believe.” I say.

“Well, that’s what he did.”

“Brian would never do something like that. Are you sure he was the one who raped Kim?” I ask.

“Pretty sure.”

“Pretty sure? Next time you bug me about this, you’d better be 100% sure he was the one who did it. Got it?”

“Loud and clear.” Mr. Jones grumbles.

He then turns and walks out of the room. Melissa looks at me shocked. If I had to guess, she’s as surprised as I am to hear that Brian raped Kim.

“Byron, what the hell is going on?” Melissa asks.

“Hell if I know.” I say.

“You mean to tell me that Brian never told you about any of this?”

“All I know is that he was planning on asking Kim to marry him. He never said she was pregnant or that he did _that_ to her."

“I’m shocked he didn’t tell you about that.” Melissa says.

“Melissa, you know Brian would never do anything so vile.”

“You don’t know that. He could have been drunk and not been thinking.”

“Even if he was drunk, he never would have raped anyone.”

“I don’t know.” Melissa quietly says.

“What are you saying?” I ask puzzled.

“I’m saying your brother came on to me when he was drunk, and he almost didn’t take no for an answer.”

“I find that very hard to believe.” I say.

“Believe it or not, it happened.” Melissa says.

I let out a long sigh and look at Brian. I can’t believe that he would even think about doing something like hurting someone he cares about. That’s something I can’t even begin to wrap my brain around.

“I’m sorry I said that.”

“It’s fine. Deep in my heart I suspected something happened between the two of you.”

“There’s no hard feelings. I forgave him.”

“I guess that’s good to know.” I say with a sigh.

“Now what’s on your mind?” Melissa asks.

“Going back and stopping the accident from happening.” I say.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Melissa says.

“What do you mean? We built that time machine for a reason.”

“If you change time like that, who knows what could happen.”

“Nothing’s going to happen.”

“Byron, you don’t know that.”

“I’m positive nothing will happen.

” Melissa says nothing and lets out a long sigh.

“You think something will happen. Don’t you?” I ask.

“I don’t think something will happen. I know something will happen.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you start messing with time like that, things are bound to happen. Some of them might be good, but others might be bad.”

“Nothing could be that bad.” I say.

“Think about this. Say you go back and prevent the accident from happening to Brian. That would change things and the person in the car behind him ends up getting hurt, or killed. And if that person just so happened to be someone who could change Brian’s life, that change would never happen.”

“It couldn’t be that bad, could it?” I ask.

“Let me put it another way. If you went back and stopped the accident from happening and the person who was hurt or killed was you, you know Brian would go to stop the accident from happening to you and we’d be in a never ending cycle of the two of you trying to stop each other from getting hurt.”

“I see.” I say with a sigh.

“Trust me, it’s better if you leave things alone.”

“You’re right.”

“I know I’m right.”

“Why do you always have to be right?” I ask.

“Because that’s my job.”

I let out a small chuckle in response. I take Brian’s hand in mine and pray he wakes up. Somewhere deep in my heart I know he may never wake up. There’s also some small part of me that knows if he does wake up he may never walk again. A small sigh escapes my lips as I think about that.

“Why don’t you go home and get some rest?” Melissa asks.

“I don’t think my parents will let me come back home after what I said to them tonight.” I say.

“What did you say to them?”

“I told them that I knew they didn’t want me and that Brian was their favorite.”

“You don’t know your parents didn’t want you.” Melissa says.

“Melissa, my parents thought they were only having on child. When they found out they weren’t they were shocked. They had nothing ready for me when I got home after being born.”

“That doesn’t mean they didn’t want you.”

“Then what does it mean?” I ask.

“It just means that they weren’t ready for two children.”

“If that’s what it means, then why is Brian the only one who gets what he wants?”

“You get what you want.”

“No, I really don’t. I’ve had to beg and plead to get anything I wanted. Tell me how that’s fair.” I say.

“I guess it’s not.” Melissa says with a sigh.

I let out a sigh and as I do, Brian starts to stir. He starts thrashing and trying to pull out the IV.

“Melissa, go get the doctor.” I say.

She turns and runs out of the room. I put my hand on Brian’s shoulder to try to calm him.

“Brian, stop that. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

He calms down some just as the doctor walks in the room.

“You need to step out of the room while I take a look at him.” The doctor says.

I let go of Brian’s hand and stand up. I then turn and walk out of the room. When I walk out of the room I’m shocked to see my parents standing there talking to Melissa.

“Why are you here?” I ask.

“Byron, be nice to your parents.” Melissa says.

I let out a sigh and fold my arms across my chest.

“We can take care of ourselves.” My mum says. “

So, why are you here?”

“Still here you mean.” My dad says.

“Whatever. Just answer my question.” I say.

“We were going to tell the doctor to let Brian go.” My mum says.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore. He woke up.”

“That’s good news.” My dad says.

I roll my eyes in response to that. Somehow I knew they only care about Brian.

“Don’t roll your eyes at us Byron.” My mum says.

“I’m a grown man, I can do what I want.”

“Be nice to your mum.” My dad says.

“What are you going to do if I’m not? You can’t ground me anymore.”

“God Byron, grow up.” Melissa says.

I sigh and drop my arms to my sides. Why does everyone have to interfere in my life? I swear, one of these days someone is going to push me too far and I’m just going to end it all. Maybe that would teach them. Although, knowing my luck, no one would miss me.

“I’m sorry, I’m acting like this. I’m just really stressed.” I quietly say.

“Stressed about what?” My mum asks.

“One of my classes at Uni is stressing me out because we have a huge test coming up and I’m afraid I might not do well.”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine. You just need to relax and get your mind off everything for a while.” My dad says.

“You’re right, but this situation with Brian is not helping things much.” I say.

“This has been hard on all of us.” My mum says.

As she says this the doctor walks out of the room.

“You can see him two at a time.” He says.

“Mum, dad, you can see him first.” I say.

They say nothing and walk into the room.

“Why the change of heart?” Melissa asks.

“Because deep in my heart, I know you’re right about everything. My parents do love me, they just have a strange way of showing it sometimes.”

“Anything else?”

“What I said about being stressed is true. The stress is not making me think clearly. I didn’t mean to take that out on my parents.”

“Well, at least you were honest with them.” Melissa says.

“I’m always honest with them, even if they sometimes don’t listen.”

Melissa says nothing and chuckles. A few minutes later my parents walk out of Brian’s room crying.

“What’s going on?” I ask puzzled.

“Brian doesn’t remember us.” My mum say sobbing.

“Oh God.” I whisper.

“I don’t think you should see him.” My dad says.

“I need to see him, even if he might not know me.” I say

. My parents walk off and Melissa and I walk into Brian’s room. I take a seat by Brian’s bed. He turns his head and looks at me. I can see in his eyes that he doesn’t know me.

“Who are you?” Brian asks.

“I’m your twin brother Byron.” I say.

“I have no brother.” Brian says.

I let out a long sigh and look at the floor. What am I going to do? I need to figure out something quickly. Melissa puts her hand on my shoulder and I sigh again.

 _‘Think Byron.’_ I think.

“So, who are you really?” Brian asks.

“I told you who I am.”

“You’re not my brother, I have no family.” Brian says.

“I don’t care if you believe me or not. I’m telling you the truth.”

“Who’s the girl?” Brian asks.

“I’m Melissa. I’ve been your friend since you were four.” Melissa says.

Brian lets out a snort at that.

“Let me guess. You have no friends.” I say.

“You got that right.” Brian says.

Melissa lets out a long sigh in response to that. All I want to do is smack some sense into my brother. Maybe that will snap him out of the state he’s in. I reach over and smack his face hard.

“What the hell was that for?” Brian asks.

“I was trying to knock some sense into you.”

“Well you didn’t have to hit me so hard.” Brian says.

“Yes, I did.”

“No you didn’t Byron.”

“So, now you remember me.”

“You’re my brother. How could I forget you?” Brian asks.

“You didn’t know who I was when I walked in here five minutes ago. For that matter, you didn’t know who our parents were.”

“Oh God.” Brian whispers as he puts his head in his hands.

“That doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is how you’re doing.”

“I’m fine I guess.” Brian says.

“You guess?” I ask.

“Yeah.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t feel my legs.”

“The doctor said that might happen. He said there’s some swelling around your spine that would cause you to not feel your legs.” I say.

“What happens if I still can’t feel them when the swelling goes down?” Brian asks.

“You’d have to have surgery, and if that doesn’t work, you’ll never walk again.” I quietly say.

Brian lets out a long sigh in response.

“You’ll be fine.” I say.

“So, how’s Kim?” Brian asks.

I swallow hard as I think about my answer. How do I tell my brother that his girlfriend is dead?

“Well?”

“Brian, I’m sorry, but Kim was killed in the accident.” I quietly say.

Brain breaks down crying when I tell him this.

“Please tell me you’re joking.” Brian says sobbing.

“That would be one sick joke, don’t you think?” I ask.

Brian says nothing and cries harder.

“I have to ask you something.” I say.

“What do you want to ask?” Brian asks through his tears.

“Did you rape Kim and get her pregnant?” I ask.

“Did I what?”

“Did you rape Kim?”

“No, I’d never do something like that. Who said I did that?”

“Mr. Jones.” I say.

“Bastard. I knew he didn’t like me.” Brain sobs.

“He wants you in jail for ‘raping’ his daughter.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“Well, if Mr. Jones has his way, you’ll be in jail.”

Brian lets out a long sigh. I begin to wonder what he’s thinking.

“Now what’s on your mind?” I ask.

“How I’m going to get out of this mess.” Brian says.

“Mum and dad will help you figure this out.” I say.

“I hope so.” Brian says with a sigh.

“Maybe we should go.” Melissa says.

“Good idea.” I say.

“See you tomorrow.” Brian says.

“See you.” Melissa says. “

Bye.” I say.

I stand up and Melissa and I walk out of the room. We head down the hall and meet up with my parents in the waiting room. My parents take us home. I head up to my room and lay down in bed. I begin to wonder what’s going to happen to Brain.

Maybe, just maybe things will work out for him.


	2. Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during the making of the album A Night At The Opera. The flashback where Freddie, Brian, and Roger meet was inspired by the scene in Bohemian Rhapsody and is loosely based on it. As far a I know, this meeting didn't happen like that in real life. Italics indicate the flashback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Autor's note: I do want to apologize if the writing in this story isn't that good. It's been a very long time since I wrote a Queen fan fiction, so I'm a bit rusty. Please read and review.

**Chapter 2: Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me**

_'Don't let the sun go down on me. Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see. I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free. But losing everything is like the sun going down on me.'-Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me-Elton John_

In the years since the car accident that nearly killed me, many things have changed. I went back to Uni and met a drummer named Roger Taylor. We formed a band named Smile with another friend. However, by 1970, we split and Roger and I formed a new band with another friend. This friend, Freddie, insisted we name the band Queen.

I think back on the day Fred and I first met. It was after a concert Smile had done. Our vocalist, Tim had just left. Roger and I were outside drinking when Fred walked up to us. He looked me up and down with a frown on his face. I began to wonder what he was thinking.

_“Can I help you with something?” I asked._

_“Yes, my name’s Freddie, I’m looking for Brain May.” He said._

_Roger chuckled behind me and Freddie gave him a funny look._

_“I’m Brian May.” I said._

_“You’re Brian?” Freddie asked shocked._

_“Last time I checked I was.”_

_I heard Roger bust out laughing when I answered. Once again Freddie looked at him funny._

_“I think I may have the wrong person.” Freddie quietly said._

_“What makes you think that?” I asked._

_“I thought the one singing was Brian.”_

_“The one singing is Tim Staffell.” Roger said._

_“Oh.”_

_“Something wrong?” I asked puzzled._

_“Maybe.” Freddie said._

_“What is it?” I asked._

_Freddie said nothing and just looked at my wheelchair._

_“I think I may know what the problem is.” I said._

_“Whatever you’re thinking isn’t it.” Freddie said._

_“Really? Because the expression on your face is saying something completely different.” I said a bit offended._

_“I didn’t mean to offend you.”_

_“What did you mean to do?” I asked._

_“I guess I don’t really know.”_

_“So, what do you want?”_

_“I saw your show tonight, and was wondering if you could use a new singer.”_

_“I don’t know. What do you think Rog?”_

_“Can you sing?” Roger asked._

_Freddie then showed us how well he could sing._

_“So, what do you think?” Freddie asked._

_“I don’t know.” I said._

_“Look, if this is about what I said before, I want to apologize for that.” Freddie said._

_“Well, you can have the job.”_

_“What will Tim say?” Freddie asked._

_“You don’t have to worry about him. He quit right after the show was over.” Roger said. “_

_Why?”_

_“I don’t really know.” I said._

_“He claimed we weren’t going to go anywhere.” Roger said with a snort._

_“I wonder why he said that.” Freddie said._

_“Truthfully, I think it has to do with me.” I quietly said._

_“You’re kidding?” Freddie asked shocked._

_“I wish I was, but I think he’s right. No record company is going to sign a band when one of their members is in a wheelchair.”_

_“Well, I think he’s wrong.” Freddie said._

_“For our sake, I hope you’re right.”_

_“So, I don’t mean to be rude, but how did you end up in a wheelchair?” Freddie asked._

_“It was a car accident. I was hit head on by a drunk driver. My girlfriend was killed and I was left paralyzed.” I said._

_“I’m sorry.” Freddie said._

_“Sorry for what exactly? The accident wasn’t your fault.”_

_“I’m sorry you ended up paralyzed.”_

_I let out a snort at that. If Freddie was only taking the job because he felt sorry for me, then I didn’t want him in the band._

_“I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me!” I shouted._

_Freddie let out a snort._

_“I’m sorry I opened my mouth.” Freddie quietly said._

_“If you’re only taking this job because you feel sorry for me, then you can just leave.” I growled._

_“That’s not the reason I’m taking the job. I’m taking the job because I believe this band can go places.”_

_Now it’s Roger’s turn to let out a snort._

_“You don’t believe me?” Freddie asked._

_“No, not really.” Roger said._

_“Not you too.” Freddie said._

_“I just think you feel sorry for him.”_

_“And you don’t?” Freddie asked._

_“No, I don’t.”_

_“I find that hard to believe.” Freddie said._

_“I’ve been friends with Brian for six years. Never once after he told me about the accident did I feel sorry for him. The only thing I felt was hope that our band could go somewhere.”_

_“I want this band to go somewhere too. I’m sorry I said what I did.”_

_“I accept your apology.” I said._

We went on our merry way, and now five years later we’re getting ready to record our next album. The only problem is, I haven’t seen my brother Byron since ‘69. I start thinking about how he is and what he’s doing. My thoughts are interrupted by someone putting their hand on my shoulder. I look up and see Roger standing there.

“What’s on your mind Bri?” Roger asks.

“My brother.” I quietly say.

“I’m sure he’s fine.” Roger says.

“I hope so.”

“You don’t think he’s in trouble, do you?” Roger asks.

“Knowing Byron, maybe.”

“I doubt Byron’s in trouble.” Melissa says.

She walks over to me and sits on my lap. Roger lets out a whistle behind me.

“Back off Rog, she’s my wife.” I growl.

“Easy Bri, I meant no harm.” Roger says.

“Sure.” Melissa says with a laugh.

She puts her forehead against mine and looks into my eyes. I give her a quick kiss on the lips and smile. After Kim died, I almost didn’t want to date again, but after going out with Melissa a few times things just fell into place. We eventually got married and now we’re trying for a baby. Although, I suspect she might already be pregnant.

“What’s on your mind now?” Melissa asks.

“You.” I say.

Melissa lets out a laugh and smiles.

“You have a one track mind.” Melissa says.

“That’s not true. I think about music too.”

“True.”

Melissa stands up and walks out of the room.

“How did you get so lucky?” Roger asks.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“We’ve been friends since we were four. I guess we were just meant to be together.”

“And if the accident hadn’t killed your girlfriend at the time, then what?”

I give a shrug of my shoulders as an answer. To be honest, I don’t know if Melissa and I would be married if Kim hadn’t died.

“Do you think you would have married Kim?”

“Hard to say. If we had gotten married, I don’t think it would have lasted long.”

“Why?”

“I found out she lied to me.” I quietly say.

“What do you mean?”

“Her dad thought I raped her and got her pregnant, and then found out it wasn’t me. Apparently she was cheating on me with someone else and he got her pregnant. If I hadn’t known that and the accident hadn’t happened, I’d have married her and raised some other man’s child.”

“Ouch.” Roger quietly says.

“Ouch what?” Freddie asks.

“Long story short. My late girlfriend cheated on me and got pregnant. Had she not died I would have married her and raised someone else’s child.” I say.

“Ouch.” Freddie says.

“Yeah.”

“So, not to change the subject, but are we ready to start?” Freddie asks.

“When you are.” I say.

We get ready and start working on some new songs. A few months go by and the album is finally finished. We name the album A Night At The Opera and it becomes a big hit. Even though we’re starting to become more well known, I can’t help but worry about other things. Namely my brother.

I hope he’s not in trouble. What I don’t know is, that in six months he’ll show up with a man who will become one of my closest friends.


	3. Slip Noose Hanging In My Darkest Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter I'm introducing Cozy Powell who is a real person. He played in Rainbow, Black Sabbath, and The Brian May Band among others. He died in 1998.(If he lives or dies in this story is up in the air right now.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, sorry for being rusty. Please read and review.

**Chapter 3: Slip Noose Hanging In My Darkest Dreams**

_'Never realized the passing hours of evening showers. Slip noose hanging in my darkest dreams. I'm strangled by your haunted social scene. Just a pawn outplayed by a dominating Queen.'-Someone Saved My Life Tonight-Elton John_

I’m sitting at home watching something on TV when the phone rings. Melissa reaches over and answers it. I only hear her end of the conversation.

“May residence, Melissa speaking.” Melissa says.

“Yes, he’s here. May I ask who’s calling?” Melissa asks.

Melissa’s eyes go wide and her jaw drops when she finds out who it is.

“Just a sec.” Melissa says shocked.

“Who is it?” I ask.

“Byron.” I take the phone from her and put it to my ear.

“Hello.” I say.

“Brian, it’s Byron.” The voice on the other end says.

“Nice to finally hear from you.” I coldly say.

“No need to act so cold.” Byron says.

“How am I supposed to act when I haven’t heard anything from you in seven years?” I ask.

“I don’t know.” Byron says with a sigh.

“What do you want?”

“My friend and I need a place to stay for a while.” Byron says.

“How long is a while?”

“A couple of weeks.”

“Only a couple weeks?”

“Could be longer. It all depends on how quickly we can find someplace to live.”

“Is this friend of yours a woman?”

“No.”

“You’re living with a guy?” I ask shocked.

“It’s not what you think.”

“So, you’re not gay?” I ask.

“No. We’re just living together because the rent is cheaper when you have two people covering it. Besides, my friend is dating someone.”

“So, when are you planning to get here?”

“In a half hour.”

“Don’t be late.” I say.

“I won’t. Bye.”

“Yeah, bye.” I say with a sigh.

I hand the phone to Melissa and she hangs it up.

“What did Byron want?” Melissa asks.

“He’s going to be staying here for a couple weeks.”

“You’re not too happy about this, are you?”

“No, but it’s not for the reason you might think.” I say.

“So, it’s not because he’s a drifter?”

“Nope.”

“What is it then?”

“Melissa, you know I’ve been suffering from depression since the accident. Well, this week it decided to rear it’s ugly head again.”

“Oh.” Melissa quietly says.

“I’m ready to end it all again.” I quietly say.

“Please don’t do that. I need you.” Melissa says.

“I can’t make any promises.”

Melissa lets out a long sigh like she doesn’t want to hear this again. To be honest, I don’t want to think about that again. I hate feeling like this. I hate this feeling of only wanting to either get drunk and sleep for months, or wanting to just end it all. What do I do?

_‘Think Brian.’_ I think.

My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door. Melissa gets up to answer it. Soon, she walks into the room with Byron and another man. This man is tall, muscular, with dark brown hair, and brown eyes. In short, if I was a woman, I think I’d fall for him.

“Who’s your friend?” I ask.

“Brian, I’d like you to meet Cozy Powell.” Byron says.

“Nice to meet you Cozy.” I say.

Cozy looks me up and down and wrinkles his nose.

_‘Not this again.’_ I think.

“Yeah, nice meeting you too.” Cozy says not looking at me.

“Is there a problem?” I ask.

“What makes you think there’s a problem?” Cozy asks.

“The fact that you won’t look at me.” I say.

Cozy says nothing and looks at the floor.

“So, is there a problem?” I ask.

Cozy gives a shake of his head to answer me. Byron looks uneasy and shifts on his feet. The look on his face says this was a bad idea. Deep in my heart, I’d have to agree with him.

“Maybe this was a bad idea.” Byron says.

“You think?”

“Maybe we should leave.”

“Do what you want.” I say.

“We don’t have to leave.” Cozy says.

“Really?” I ask.

“Look, I’m sorry. Byron never told me his brother was in a wheelchair.”

“What did he tell you?” I ask puzzled.

“Just that he had a brother named Brian and he was in a band called Queen. Nothing more.”

“I see.” I say.

Byron looks at the floor ashamed.

“Brian, I’m sorry.” Byron quietly says.

I say nothing and give him a dismissive wave. He takes the hint and heads upstairs to find a room. Melissa also walks off and heads into another room. Cozy and I are now alone.

“How did you and Byron meet?” I ask.

“We met at a concert that my band was playing.” Cozy says as he takes a seat on the floor.

“You’re in a band?” I ask shocked.

“Yeah, right now I’m with Rainbow.” Cozy says.

“Interesting.” I say.

“I don’t want to be rude, but how did you end up in a wheelchair? Were you born paralyzed, or was it something else?” Cozy asks.

“I was in a car accident. Hit head on by a drunk driver. My girlfriend at the time was killed, and I was left paralyzed.” I quietly say.

Cozy says nothing and looks at me shocked. Does he feel sorry for me? Or could it be something else?

“How on Earth did you manage to survive that?” Cozy asks shocked.

I give a shrug of my shoulders as an answer. To this day I still don’t know how I managed to ‘walk’ away from the accident.

“You don’t know?”

“No. I really have no idea how I managed to survive when my girlfriend died pretty much instantly.”

“You must have someone watching over you or something.” Cozy says.

“Yeah, maybe.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“It’s fine. I’m just not in a good state of mind right now.” I say.

“What do you mean?” Cozy asks puzzled.

“I have depression which I’ve been dealing with since the accident. This week it decided to rear it’s ugly head once more.”

“I see.” Cozy quietly says.

“If you don’t want to stay because of that, I understand.”

“I’m not leaving. I want to help you.” Cozy says.

“Help me?” I ask.

“I know how it is to be so depressed that you don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. That and just wanting to end it all.” Cozy says.

I say nothing and look at him puzzled. Cozy holds out his left wrist and I look at it. Running across his wrist are several scars. I look down at my own wrist. Our scars match.

He’s tried to kill himself too. Cozy takes his arm and puts it back in his lap.

“Trust me. I know that feeling all too well.” Cozy quietly says.

“What caused your depression?” I ask.

Cozy gives a shrug of his shoulders to answer me.

“There has to be some trigger.” I say.

“My shrink says it might be genetic for me.”

“I see.”

“Well, I’m going to go get some rest.” Cozy says.

“Ok. Take the room at the end of the hall, if Byron hasn’t taken it.”

Cozy stands up and heads out of the room. He heads upstairs and I’m left alone with my thoughts. I put my head in my hands and start to cry. All I want to do is end it all once more. I need to pull myself out of this mess.

I can’t keep having these thoughts. I let out a long sigh and try to collect myself. Nothing seems to be working. I head upstairs and go to my room. I look around and try to figure out how to end it all.

Maybe, just maybe this time I’ll be successful.


	4. Thank God My Music's Still Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cozy finds Brian after a suicide attempt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I'm sorry for being a bit rusty. Please read and review.

**Chapter 4: Thank God My Music’s Still Alive**

_'It's four o'clock in the morning. Damn it, listen to me good. I'm sleeping with myself tonight. Saved in time. Thank God my music's still alive.'-Someone Saved My Life Tonight-Elton John_

I’m laying on my back staring at the ceiling wondering what Brian thinks of me. Sometimes I have a hard time figuring people out. As I’m thinking, someone knocks on the door.

“It’s open.” I say.

The door opens and someone walks in.

“It’s me.” Byron says.

“Did you need something?” I ask.

“Did you tell Brian about us?" Byron asks.

“Tell him what exactly?”

“You know what.” Byron says.

“It’s not my job to tell your brother anything about my private life, let alone tell him about yours.” I say.

“Cozy, we need to tell him.”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“What happens if and when he finds out?” Byron asks.

“He’s not going to find out, because there’s nothing to find out.”

Byron lets out a huff and sits down on my bed. I sit up and look at him.

“He’s going to find out.” Byron says panicking.

“For the love of God, he’s not going to find out anything.” I say exasperated.

“You know damn well he’s going to find out we’re an item.”

“We’re not an item.”

“Says you.” Byron says.

“What makes you think we’re an item?” I ask.

“The fact that you can’t keep your eyes off me.”

I let out an exasperated sigh at that. My brain can’t process why Byron suddenly thinks we’re an ‘item’.

“Byron, what are you smoking? There’s nothing, and I do mean nothing between us.” I say.

“Sure.” Byron quietly says.

“I don’t know why you seem to think there is.”

“Well, for starters, you don’t seem very happy with Sharon.” Byron says.

“We had one argument, and it was over something stupid.”

“Define stupid.”

“The fact that the argument was over when we were going to get married.”

“You call that stupid?” Byron asks.

“Since I already asked her to marry me, I’d say yes.” “I still don’t call that stupid.” Byron says.

“How is it not stupid?” I ask.

“You’re arguing over a wedding date.”

“Well, yeah.” I say.

“That’s not stupid.”

“Byron, we’re going to get married. I just don’t know when.”

“Why don’t you know?” Byron asks puzzled.

“Because I don’t know when I’m going to find a place to live, let alone have a job in any one band long enough to afford that place.”

Byron says nothing and lets out a long sigh. I let out my own long sigh. Things like this happen to be what pushes me over the edge and into wanting to end it all. Once more, I’m ready to end it all. When will this stop?

“What’s on your mind?” Byron asks.

“Nothing.” I quietly say.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Sure.” Byron says.

“I’m really sure, now go get some rest.” I say.

“Fine.” Byron grumbles and stands up.

He turns and walks out of the room. I listen as he heads down the hall to his room. Once he’s in his room I get up off the bed. I walk out of the room and head down the hall to the bathroom. I just want to take a long hot shower to get my mind off of things.

I get to the bathroom and find the door closed. Putting my ear against it, I hear the water running. Come to think of it, the water’s been running for some time. I knock on the door as someone comes up the stairs. I see it’s Melissa.

“What’s going on Cozy?” Melissa asks.

“I don’t know.” I say.

“Great.” Melissa mumbles.

 _‘Crap, Brian’s tried to end it all.’_ I think.

I knock on the door louder, but get no answer. I try the knob and the door opens. Stepping into the bathroom, I brace myself for what I may find. Once inside, I find Brian sprawled out in the tub. I reach over and turn off the water.

As I do that, I notice the water in the tub is red.

 _‘Crap. Why did you do this Bri?’_ I think.

“Melissa, get some towels.” I say panicking.

She runs off to get some towels. She returns a few minutes later and hands them to me. I pull Brian’s right arm out of the tub and wrap a towel tightly around his wrist. After I’m done, I do the same to his left wrist.

“Go call for help.”

“On it.” Melissa says as she runs from the room.

I pull Brian from the tub and lay him on the floor. Quickly, I cover him with a towel to try to get him warm. I check his pulse and find it weak.

 _‘Don’t you die on me.’_ I think.

Some people rush into the room and push me aside. I leave the room and head into the hall. Melissa and Byron are standing there. I walk over to them with a sigh.

“What the hell happened?” Byron asks.

“He tried to commit suicide.” I quietly say.

“Damn it.” Byron whispers.

“Thank God you found him.” Melissa quietly says.

‘Yeah, for whatever good that did.’ I think.

“Yeah.”

“Are you ok?” Byron asks.

I give a shake of my head to answer him. I’m not ok, and I don’t know when I’ll be ok. This scared the crap out of me. If this is what my mum saw when I tried to kill myself a couple years ago, I now know how she felt. I feel sick to my stomach.

Honestly, I feel like barfing. I stumble closer to the wall and sit down. I put my head on my knees and try not to barf. Someone puts their hand on my back.

“What’s wrong?” Melissa asks.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” I groan.

She walks off and comes back with a bucket. She hands me the bucket and I take it from her.

“Thanks.”

As soon as I say that, I throw up. I set the bucket down next to me. For some strange reason, throwing up does not make me feel any better. I let out a groan.

“Are you going to be ok?” Byron asks.

“I’ll be fine eventually.” I quietly say.

“Eventually?”

“That shook me up pretty bad.”

“Why?”

“Because now I know how my mum felt when she found me a couple years ago after my last suicide attempt.”

“Your mum found you?” Melissa asks shocked.

“Yeah. She came for a visit and found me like I found Brian.”

“What did she do?” Melissa asks.

“Made me promise not to do that again.”

“And have you kept that promise?”

“Well, yes and no.”

“What do you mean by that?” Byron asks.

As he asks this, the medics bring Brian out of the bathroom. They take him downstairs and I guess out of the house.

“I’ll tell you later.” I say.

I stand up, get rid of my mess, and clean myself up. I head back to Byron and Melissa and we follow the medics. We get outside and get in my car. We make a silent drive to the hospital. Once we go in, we wait for the doctor to give us some news on Brian.

The doctor tells us how he’s doing and takes Melissa back to see him while Byron and I wait in the waiting room.

“So, what did you mean?” Byron asks.

“I haven’t tried to slit my wrists again, but I have tried overdosing on pills.” I admit.

“Why would you do that?”

“Because, like Brian, I get in these really dark places. When that happens, it’s like the only way out is trying to kill myself. I say.

“Cozy, that’s the dumbest thing I think I’ve ever heard.” Byron says.

“If you think that’s dumb, then don’t ever talk to me again.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“What did you mean then?” I ask.

“All I meant was, why would you take the cowards way out.”

“Because it’s easy.” I say.

Byron says nothing and lets out a long sigh. Something tells me he doesn’t believe what I’m saying. I let out my own long sigh and look at the floor. I feel awful right now. I still feel sick to my stomach.

“Cozy, I’m sorry, I never knew.”

“How could you? It’s not like I ever told you any of this.”

I let out another long sigh. Maybe one of these days I might end it all.


	5. As You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is meant to just be a cute moment between Melissa and Cozy. This chapter was inspired by the Daughtry song of the same name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it. Please read and review.

**Chapter 5: As You Are**

_'You're feeling isolated, and all kinds of frustrated. But I love you as you are, love you as you are, yeah. Don't worry about the hate, don't fit in those boxes they create. It's tearing you apart, tearing you apart, yeah. And when you build those walls to keep you safe, it's like a prison you can't escape. You tear them down you just might me say. I love you as you are, I love you as you are. And when the whole damn world don't know what they got 'til it's gone, I love you. I love you as you are, I love you as you are. And when the whole damn world don't know what they got 'til it's gone, I love you. I love you as you are. You can come out of the shadows, they're only scared of what they don't know. But I love you as you are, love you as you are, yeah. You waged this war within yourself, wasting time dying in a shell. They don't define you, just know they never will. I love you as you are, I love you as you are. When the whole damn world don't know what they got 'til it's gone, I love you. I love you as you are, I love you as you are. When the whole damn world don't know what they got 'til it's gone, I love you. I love you as you are, yeah, I love you as you are. You're feeling isolated, and all kinds of frustrated. But I love you as you are, love you as you are, yeah. I love you as you are, I love you as you are. When the whole damn world don't know what they got 'til it's gone, I love you. I love you as you are. When the whole damn world don't know what they got 'til it's gone, 'til it's gone, 'til it's gone. I love you as you are, yeah. I love you as you are, yeah. When the whole damn world don't know what they got 'til it's gone. I love you as you are.'-As You Are-Daughtry_

After we get back from the hospital, I’m sitting on the couch with Cozy. Byron has headed upstairs I guess to sleep. Personally, I don’t think I can sleep tonight. I look over at Cozy and see he has his head in his hands.

“Are you ok?” I ask.

“Maybe.” Cozy quietly says.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Life.”

“Life?” I ask puzzled.

“Yeah, I want to end it all again.”

“Why would you want to do that?” I ask.

“Because like Brian, I get depressed.”

“What triggers it?”

“To be honest, it can be anything.” Cozy says.

“So, unlike Brian, thinking about a past traumatic event doesn’t trigger it.” I say.

Cozy gives a shrug of his shoulders to answer me.

“You don’t know?” I ask shocked.

“I don’t normally think about things that happened in the past.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve blocked much of it out.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s easy to do.”

“I see.” I say.

“I guess you could say I’m not the type of person to dwell on the past.”

“So, you’d rather focus on the future.”

“Yes. I want to focus on other things.”

“Like what?” I ask.

“Getting married and having kids someday.”

“I hate to say it, but you don’t seem like the father type.” I say.

“What do you mean by that?” Cozy asks.

“You don’t seem like you’d be good with kids.”

“I’m fine with my step-sister’s kids.” Cozy says.

“You have a sister!” I exclaim.

“Yes. She’s my step dad’s daughter.”

“I see.” I say.

“I know what you’re thinking, and I don’t like it.” Cozy says.

“What am I thinking?” I ask.

“You’re thinking about meeting my family.”

“No, not really.” I say.

“So, what are you thinking?” Cozy asks.

“I was thinking about asking you about your family.”

Cozy says nothing and lets out a long sigh. I can tell he doesn’t want to tell me about his family.

“I really don’t like talking about them.” Cozy says with a sigh.

“I won’t tell anyone.” “Fine.”

I wait for Cozy to start talking.

“I was adopted by the woman I know as my mum when I was a baby. My birth parents were killed in a car accident leaving me with no family. My mum was married when she adopted me, but my dad died of a heart attack a couple months later. About a year or so after that, she remarried to my step-dad. He had a daughter about my age from his first wife.

My parents raised us like we were actual brother and sister which worked out pretty well.” Cozy says.

“What do you mean by that?” I ask.

“We think about each other as sister and brother, but sometimes we slip and say step brother or sister.”

“I guess that’s natural.” I say.

Cozy says nothing and sighs.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

“It’s fine, I just sometimes hate talking about it.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Because the fact that I lost two dads in a short time hurts.”

“I see.” I say.

I look at Cozy and see he’s looking deep into my eyes.

“What are you looking at?” I ask.

“I’m trying to see if you really love Brian.”

“Brian is my husband, why wouldn’t I love him?”

“Because the look in your eyes earlier said something different.”

I say nothing and look at the floor. I really do love Brian, but his many suicided attempts hurt me. It’s almost like he doesn’t care about me or our future. I don’t want to blame him, but sometimes it’s hard. I let out a long sigh and put my head in my hands.

“Has he hurt you in some way?” Cozy asks.

“Yes.” I quietly say.

“How?”

“Him nearly committing suicide hurts me. That and the fact that he still longs for his dead girlfriend.”

“So, you’re saying you were never meant to get married.” Cozy says.

“If Kim hadn’t died, we wouldn’t be sitting here. Hell, Queen as we know it might not have existed.” I say.

“Oh.” Cozy quietly says.

“I can’t and won’t say that I’m glad she died, but I know deep in my heart what I just said is true.”

“I take it you didn’t like her.”

“I liked her as a person. What I didn’t like was how she lied to get her way.”

“I see.”

“She was cheating on Brian and got pregnant by some other man. She told Brian the baby was his so he would ask him to marry her. If they had gotten married, who knows what would have happened.”

“Brian would have finished school, and never been in a band.” Byron says.

“How do you know Byron?” Cozy asks.

“Because knowing my brother, he would have wanted a degree to be a teacher so he could provide for his wife and child.”

“So, Queen would never have made it.” Cozy says.

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Oh is right.” I quietly say.

“You don’t like the fact that Brian is in a band.”

“I don’t mind. I guess I just want something more.”

“Like what?” Cozy asks.

“A baby.”

“You guys still haven’t had any luck getting pregnant.” Byron says shocked.

“No, not yet.” I say.

“If you want, I could maybe help you with that.” Byron says.

“I think I’ll pass on that offer.”

“Brian might kill you if you tried something that stupid.” Cozy says.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Byron quietly says.

He leaves the room and Cozy and I are alone again.

“I have to ask you something.”

“Like what?” I ask.

“Do you love me?” Cozy asks.

“Not in the way you think. I love you like a brother.”

“Fair enough.” Cozy says.

“I’ll always love you for who you are though.”

“Thanks, I think.” Cozy says.

I let out a long sigh and think about what I said. I do love Cozy like a brother, and I’ll always love him no matter what. Maybe things will work out someday for our strange little family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next two or three chapters will be from Brian's point of view. They will take place during the making of the News Of The World album.


	6. We Will Rock You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter on how the song We Will Rock You was written. I was inspired by the scene in Bohemian Rhapsody where they're waiting for Fred and Brian comes up with the song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read and review.

**Chapter 6: We Will Rock You**

_'Buddy you're a boy make a big noise. Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day. You got mud on yo' face, you big disgrace, kickin' your can all over the place, singin'. We will, we will, rock you. We will, we will, rock you. Buddy you're a young man, hard man. Shoutin' in the street, gonna take on the world some day. You got blood on yo' face, you big disgrace, wavin' your banner all over the place. We will, we will, rock you. (Sing it out!) We will, we will, rock you. Buddy you're an old man, poor man. Pleadin' with your eyes, gonna make you some peace some day. You got mud on your face, big disgrace. Somebody better put you back into your place. We will, we will, rock you. (Sing it!) We will, we will, rock you. (Everybody.) We will, we will, rock you. We will, we will, rock you.'-We Will Rock You-Queen_

Some time after my ‘ordeal’, I’m back in the studio with Queen. We’re getting ready to start work on our latest album. The only person we’re waiting on right now is Freddie. While we wait, Roger and I start bouncing song ideas off each other.

“Any ideas for songs Rog?” I ask.

“Maybe, how about you?” Roger asks.

“I’ve got a few ideas.” I say.

“Let me guess, you’ve written a song for your wife.” Roger says.

“No, I haven’t.” I quietly say.

“Then for who?” Roger asks.

“The audience. I think I’ve come up with a way for them to participate in the shows.” I say.

“Could work.” Roger says.

“What could work?” Freddie asks.

“Nice of you to join us Fred.” I grumble.

“Sorry I’m late, I got stuck in traffic.” Freddie says.

“Sure.”

“I don’t care if you don’t believe me.”

I say nothing and let out a snort.

“So, what could work?” Freddie asks.

“Brian’s got some crazy idea for an audience participation song.” John says.

“It’s not a crazy idea.” I say with a huff.

“No need to get so defensive Bri.” Roger says.

I say nothing and let out a long sigh. More often than not, no one takes me seriously. What the hell gives? I have a feeling I know why no one listens to me, but I don’t want to think about that.

“I’m sorry Brian, I shouldn’t have called your idea crazy.” John mutters.

“Well, you did.” I say.

“Ok, why don’t you all stop fighting?” Melissa asks as she walks into the room.

I chuckle and everyone else grumbles. Maybe now someone will listen to me.

“So, what’s your idea?” Freddie asks.

“Well, since the audience can only do so much in a confined space. I was thinking of a simple way of getting them to participate.”

“How?”

“Melissa, John, Rog, a bit of help please.”

The three of them start stomping and clapping their hands. Freddie looks puzzled until I hand him a sheet of paper with the lyrics on them. His eyes light up and he lets out a chuckle.

“Oh, I like this.” Freddie says.

“I was kind of hoping you might.” I quietly say.

“Let’s get to work recording this.”

We start recording the song, and have quite a bit of fun doing it. Little do I know that this song will become a huge hit.


	7. All Dead, All Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the song All Dead, All Dead came about. I know in real life the song was written about the death of Brian's childhood pet cat, but for this story I wanted to give a different perspective on the genesis of the song. I have Brian saying he's 'fine', but in reality he's not. What's wrong with him will be revealed in the next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read and review.

**Chapter 7: All Dead, All Dead**

_'She came without a farthing, a babe without a name. So much ado 'bout nothing, is what she tried to say. So much ado my lover, so many games we played. Through every fleeted summer, through every precious day. All dead, all dead. All the dreams we had, and I wonder why I still live on. All dead, all dead. And alone I'm spared, my sweeter half instead. All dead and gone. All dead. All dead, all dead. At the rainbow's end, and still I hear her own sweet song. All dead, all dead. Take me back again, you know my little friend's. All dead and gone. Her ways are always with me, I wander all the while. But please you must forgive me, I am old but still a child. All dead, all dead. But I should not grieve, in time it comes to everyone. All dead, all dead. But in hope I breathe, of course I don't believe, you're dead and gone. All dead and gone.'-All Dead, All Dead-Queen_

About a week or so after we we record We Will Rock you, we’re in the studio working on some more songs. Freddie has come up with a couple and I think Roger and John have come up with some too. As for me, I’ve got nothing so far. I’m lost in thought and I don’t hear John talking to me.

“Brian, wake up!” Roger shouts.

My head shoots up and I glare at him.

“If you had bothered to tap me on the shoulder, you would have known I was awake.” I growl.

“Easy Brian. Roger was just trying to get your attention.” John says.

I let out a small huff, but say nothing.

“I think he’s mad at me.” Roger says.

“I’d be mad too if you had yelled at me.” Freddie says.

I roll my eyes and fold my arms across my chest.

“Yep, he’s mad.” Roger grumbles.

“Maybe you should apologize to him.” John suggests.

“Fine. I’m sorry.” Roger quietly says.

“Sure.” I say with a chuckle.

“Really I am.”

“I know.” I say.

“So, do you have any ideas?” John asks.

“Nothing yet.” I say with a sigh.

“Well, hurry up and think of something.” Roger grumbles.

“Why don’t you shut your mouth and let me think.” I growl.

“Who pissed in your coffee this morning?” Freddie asks.

“Can it Fred, you’re not helping.”

“Well, sorry.” Freddie says with a huff.

I say nothing and roll myself to the control booth. Maybe if I get away from the rest of the band I can think more clearly. I get there and put my head in my hands. Melissa walks over and puts her hand on my shoulder.

“What’s eating you honey?” Melissa asks.

“Nothing.” I say with a sigh.

“Something must be bothering you. You never snap like that.” Melissa says.

“I’m telling you, it’s nothing.”

“Are you sure?” Melissa asks.

“No, I’m not sure about anything.” I quietly say.

“So, what’s bugging you?”

“I’m not feeling that great.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I think it just might be a touch of the flu.” I say.

“Brian, you never act like this when you just have the flu.” Melissa says.

“Well, Roger and Freddie got on my nerves while I was trying to think.”

“Oh right, that does get you mad.”

“I’m fine now. I just needed to get away for a bit.”

“So, have you come up with anything?” Melissa asks.

“I’ve got a couple more songs. I just don’t know how well they’ll go over.”

“I’m sure they’ll be fine.” Melissa says.

I look up at her and smile. She sits down on my lap and I put a hand on her stomach. In a few more months she’ll be having our first child. I’m hoping for a boy, but Melissa really wants a girl. Truthfully, I’ll be happy with either as long as it’s healthy.

“What are you thinking about?” Melissa asks.

“The baby.” I say.

“What about it?”

“Just hoping it will be healthy.”

“I’m sure it will be fine.” Melissa says.

She stands up and I head back into the studio.

“Feeling better?” John asks.

“Yes. I just needed to clear my head.”

“Anything else?”

“Rog, Fred, I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you.” Roger says.

“Me too. You know I can’t stay mad at you for long.” Freddie says.

“So, do you have anything?”

“I might.”

“Do tell.” John says.

“I’ve got a song I wrote about my late girlfriend.” I quietly say.

“You know Melissa won’t be happy when she hears this.” Roger says.

I say nothing and give a shrug of my shoulders as a response. I really don’t care what she thinks about it. This song is closure on the whole matter. I think I’m finally over Kim’s death.

“I won’t be happy with what?” Melissa asks as she walks in the studio.

“About the song Brian wrote about his dead girlfriend.” Freddie says.

“Not another one.” Melissa says with a sigh.

“I promise you, this is the last song about her.” I say.

“You keep saying that, but it hasn’t happened yet.” Melissa says.

“Melissa, I’m finally over her death.”

“It’s about damn time.” Melissa says and walks out.

“I think she’s mad.” John says.

“You think?” I ask.

“Hopefully she’ll get over it.” Freddie says.

“She’ll be fine, I hope.” I say.

Roger says nothing and lets out a long sigh. We get started on recording the rest of our album. Now that I’m finally over Kim’s death, maybe things will work out.


	8. March Of The Black Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian has a panic attack while talking to the press during the press conference for the News Of The World album.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is from Brian's point of view. Warning: this chapter does contain a couple f-bombs from Freddie. Chapter title take from the Queen song of the same name. Please read and review.

**Chapter 8: March Of The Black Queen**

_'I reign with my left hand, I rule with my right. I'm lord of all darkness, I'm queen of the night. I've got the power. Now do the march of the black queen. My life is in your hands, I'll fo and I'll fie. I'll be what you make me, I'll do what you like. I'll be your bad boy, I'll be your bad boy. I'll do the march of the black queen.'-March Of The Black Queen-Queen_

I watch Freddie, Roger, and John pacing before we meet the press. I rub my face and let out a long sigh. My nerves seem to be getting the better of me. I don’t know way I get nervous before we give our press conferences on our albums. Actually, I know why I get nervous.

I get nervous because I’m always afraid they’re going to ask why I’m in a wheelchair. That shouldn’t get to me after all these years, but for some reason it does. I guess it’s still a bit of a sore spot for me. While I’m lost in my thoughts, Melissa walks up to me with Byron and Cozy following her. I guess she brought them here for support.

“My God, the press is nuts.” Melissa says.

“What did they do now?” I ask.

“They were asking me when you guys were coming out to talk to them.”

“And what did you tell them?”

“That I’m not your press agent.”

“Good job.” I say with a chuckle.

“I never realized the press was so crazy.” Cozy says.

“Don’t you guys have problems with them?” I ask puzzled.

“Ritchie won’t talk to the press.”

“What about the rest of you?” I ask.

“We’ve been told not to talk to them, but it doesn’t do much good. They always have something bad to say about us.” Cozy says with a sigh.

“Fuck the press darling.” Freddie says.

“Now Fred, that’s not nice.” I say.

“It’s the truth.”

“It may be the truth, but that attitude will get you into trouble one of these days.”

“I still say fuck them.”

“What am I going to do with you?” I ask with a sigh.

“What’s eating you?” Freddie asks concerned.

I say nothing and look at my wheelchair.

“Oh.” Freddie quietly says.

“Yeah.” I say with a sigh.

“Still afraid someone is going to ask about it?” Freddie asks.

“Yes.”

“Nobody is going to ask. Most of the people from the press are the same idiots we’ve been dealing with for years.” Freddie says.

I let out a snort and say nothing. Why am I so afraid to have the press ask me about why I’m in a wheelchair? I guess I’m afraid the man who caused the accident is going to find out I’m famous and try to stalk me or some crazy nonsense like that. Our manager comes in to let us know it’s time. We head out to meet the press.

The press starts asking questions, and I start to feel funny. The room feels like it’s getting smaller. I rub my face and shake my head to try and clear my mind. One of the reporters asks me a question and I mumble an answer. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.

I take a few deep breaths to try to calm myself, but it doesn’t work. My chest starts to tighten and I feel like I’m going to pass out. Roger looks over at me concerned. Freddie and John also look concerned. What the hell is going on?

“Mr. May, could you tell us why you’re in a wheelchair?” A member of the press asks.

The one question I’ve been dreading since Queen started has finally come up. My heart starts racing and I can’t breathe. All of a sudden my vision starts swimming. I need to get out of here.

“I’m done.” I say as I push myself away from the table.

I head back to the waiting area. Melissa looks at me concerned when I come back.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Melissa asks concerned.

“I feel sick.” I quietly say.

“Sick how?” Byron asks.

“I think I’m going to throw up.”

“What else?” Cozy asks concerned.

“My heart is racing, I can’t breathe, and I feel like either ‘running’ away or passing out.”

“You need to lay down right now.” Cozy says.

“Why? What’s going on?” I ask panicking.

“You’re having a panic attack.”

“Cozy, don’t be silly. He’s not having a panic attack.” Melissa says.

“Yes he is.”

“And how would you know?” Melissa asks.

“I know because I have them frequently.”

I bend over and put my head between my knees.

 _‘Breathe normal.’_ I think.

Someone grabs my chair from behind and pushes me over to a couch. They pick me up and lay me down on it. I look and see it was Byron. He gives me a small smile and kneels down next to me. My head is still spinning.

“How are you feeling?” Byron asks.

“Like shit.” I say.

“Tell me what’s going on.” Byron says.

“I feel like puking.”

Byron lets out a sigh and looks at the floor. I try to get comfortable, but I can’t. I still feel like I can’t breathe. What the hell is happening to me? Freddie, Roger, and John walk back into the waiting area. They walk over to me.

“What happened darling?” Freddie asks.

“Cozy seems to think I’m having a panic attack.” I say.

“Brian, I’m telling you, it’s a panic attack.” Cozy says.

“Are you sure?” John asks.

“Yes, I’m sure. As I have them frequently.”

“I’m still not sure.” I quietly say.

Cozy walks over to me and kneels down next to Byron.

“Listen to me closely. I have panic attacks. That is what you’re having. I can see in your eyes that you think you’re having a heart attack.”

I say nothing and nod my head.

“It’s a panic attack. Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do except wait it out. You’ll be fine soon.”

I let out a long sigh and close my eyes.

“How long will this last?” I ask.

“They usually pass in 10 minutes. It could be longer though.”

I sigh again and rub my face. Is this going to keep happening to me? God what do I do? I still feel so very sick.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” I groan.

“Byron, get the medics.”

“On it.” Byron says.

I hear him stand up and walk off. I open my eyes just as he comes back with the medics. They ask Cozy to move and start taking my vitals. The medics are talking, but it just sounds like a buzzing noise to me. One of the medics goes to put an oxygen mask on my face and I start freaking out.

“Get that thing away from me!” I shout.

“Mr. May, this will help you.” One of the medics says.

“I don’t care what it will do. You’re not coming near me with it!”

I start trying to push the medic away. They restrain my arms and put the oxygen mask on my face. The only thing the mask does is make me panic more. I start struggling against the medic holding me down. He holds me tighter and I start crying.

“Let me go.” I sob.

“Not until you calm down.” “Please, this is just making things worse.”

“How can this be making things worse?” The medic asks.

“I’m having flashbacks to the accident that nearly killed me. The last thing I remember before I lost consciousness is the medics putting an oxygen mask on my face.”

The medic removes the mask from my face and I start calming down. They switch over to a nasal tube. While that still freaks me out a bit, it’s not as bad as a mask.

“We need to take you to the hospital.” The medic says.

“I’m fine.” I say.

“His vitals are starting to go back to normal.” The other medic says.

They give me oxygen a bit longer then leave. Cozy walks back over and kneels down next to me.

“Feeling better?” Cozy asks.

“Yes.”

“You need to talk to someone.” Cozy says.

“Like who?” I ask.

“You need to see a shrink.”

“Fat chance. I’m not crazy.” I say.

“Nobody said you were, but you still need to talk to someone about what happened. They can give you something to lessen the frequency of the panic attacks.”

I say nothing and push myself up on the couch. There’s no way in hell I’m talking to some shrink. If I ever do end up talking to one it will have to wait until after the tour.

“I’ll talk to someone after the tour.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” I ask.

“The tour could make things worse.”

“So what if it does. I can deal with it.” I say.

“How? By postponing dates?” Cozy asks.

“Maybe.”

Cozy sighs and shakes his head. I know he thinks it’s a bad idea. Whatever. I do what I want. I just hope this tour doesn’t make things worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not having this up sooner, but I wasn't sure what direction I wanted to take in this chapter. My first thought was to have Brian be really sick, or to experience some after effect of the accident that took years to surface. I decided to go with the latter in the form of panic attacks. Brian will eventually get the panic attacks under control, but it's going to take time. How much will be revealed in another chapter.


	9. Exile Vilify

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the previous chapter from Cozy's point of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: As with the last chapter this contains some f-bombs from Freddie. Chapter title taken from the song of the same name by The National. It's off the Portal 2 soundtrack. Please read and review.

**Chapter 9: Exile Vilify**

_'Exile. It takes your mind, again. Exile. It takes your mind, again. You've got suckers' luck. Have you given up? Does it feel like a trial? Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine? Exile. It takes your mind, again. Exile. It takes your mind, again. Oh you meant so much. Have you given up? Does it feel like a trial? Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine? Does it feel like a trial? Now you're thinking too fast you're like marbles on glass. Vilify. Don't even try. Vilify. Don't even try. You've got suckers' luck. Have you given up? Does it feel like a trial? Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine? Does it feel like a trial? Did you fall for the same empty answers again? Vilify. Don't even try. Vilify. Don't even try. Vilify. Don't even try. Vilify...'-Exile Vilify-The National_

Melissa, Byron and I are walking back to the waiting area to talk to Brian. As we’re heading there, we keep getting pestered by the press. They keep asking when the band is coming out to talk to them. Melissa keeps telling them she’s not their press agent. We finally get back to the band.

“My God, the press is nuts.” Melissa says.

“What did they do now?” Brian asks.

“They were asking me when you guys were coming out to talk to them.”

“And what did you tell them?”

“That I’m not your press agent.”

“Good job.” Brian says with a chuckle.

“I never realized the press was so crazy.” I say.

“Don’t you guys have problems with them?” Brian asks puzzled.

“Ritchie won’t talk to the press.”

“What about the rest of you?” Brian asks.

“We’ve been told not to talk to them, but it doesn’t do much good. They always have something bad to say about us.” I say with a sigh.

“Fuck the press darling.” Freddie says.

“Now Fred, that’s not nice.” Brian says.

“It’s the truth.”

“It may be the truth, but that attitude will get you into trouble one of these days.”

“I still say fuck them.”

“What am I going to do with you?” Brian asks with a sigh.

“What’s eating you?” Freddie asks concerned.

Brian says nothing and looks at his wheelchair.

“Oh.” Freddie quietly says.

“Yeah.” Brian says with a sigh.

“Still afraid someone is going to ask about it?” Freddie asks.

“Yes.”

“Nobody is going to ask. Most of the people from the press are the same idiots we’ve been dealing with for years.” Freddie says.

Brian lets out a snort and says nothing. What is on his mind? Is he thinking that someone from the press still might ask him why he’s in a wheelchair? The band’s manager comes back and tells them it’s time to talk to the press. They head out to talk to them.

As they’re talking I notice Brian looking more and more ill. It seems to me like he’s having a panic attack. But is he really? I guess only time will tell.

“Mr. May, could you tell us why you’re in a wheelchair?” A member of the press asks. Brian pales at this question.

 _‘Oh crap, it finally came up. What is Brian going to do?’_ I think.

“I’m done.” Brian says as he pushes himself away from the table.

He heads back to the waiting area. Melissa looks at him concerned when he comes back.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Melissa asks concerned.

“I feel sick.” Brian quietly says.

“Sick how?” Byron asks.

“I think I’m going to throw up.”

“What else?” I ask concerned.

“My heart is racing, I can’t breathe, and I feel like either ‘running’ away or passing out.”

“You need to lay down right now.” I say.

“Why? What’s going on?” Brian asks panicking.

“You’re having a panic attack.”

“Cozy, don’t be silly. He’s not having a panic attack.” Melissa says.

“Yes he is.”

“And how would you know?” Melissa asks.

“I know because I have them frequently.”

Brian bends over and puts his head between his knees. Byron grabs Brian’s chair from behind and pushes him over to a couch. Bryon then picks him up and lays him down on it. Brian looks and sees it was Byron. Byron gives Brian a small smile and kneels down next to him.

It loos like Brian’s head is still spinning.

“How are you feeling?” Byron asks.

“Like shit.” Brian says.

“Tell me what’s going on.” Byron says.

“I feel like puking.”

Byron lets out a sigh and looks at the floor. Brian tries to get comfortable, but it looks like he can’t. What the hell is happening to him? Freddie, Roger, and John walk back into the waiting area. They walk over to Brian.

“What happened darling?” Freddie asks.

“Cozy seems to think I’m having a panic attack.” Brian says.

“Brian, I’m telling you, it’s a panic attack.” I say.

“Are you sure?” John asks.

“Yes, I’m sure. As I have them frequently.”

“I’m still not sure.” Brian quietly says.

I walk over to Brian and kneel down next to Byron.

“Listen to me closely. I have panic attacks. That is what you’re having. I can see in your eyes that you think you’re having a heart attack.”

Brian says nothing and nods his head.

“It’s a panic attack. Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do except wait it out. You’ll be fine soon.”

Brian lest out a long sigh and shuts his eyes.

“How long will this last?” Brian asks.

“They usually pass in 10 minutes. It could be longer though.”

Brian sighs again and rubs his face. I know what he’s thinking. He’s thinking about whether or not this will keep happening to him. I know it will keep happening until he gets some kind of help. I still have them sometimes even with help.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Brian groans.

“Byron, get the medics.”

“On it.” Byron says.

Byron stands up and walks off. Brian opens his eyes just as Byron comes back with the medics. They ask me to move and start taking Brian’s vitals. One of the medics goes to put an oxygen mask on Brian’s face and he starts freaking out.

“Get that thing away from me!” Brian shouts.

“Mr. May, this will help you.” One of the medics says.

“I don’t care what it will do. You’re not coming near me with it!”

He starts trying to push the medic away. They restrain his arms and put the oxygen mask on his face. It looks like the mask is making him panic more. Brian starts struggling against the medic holding him down. He holds Brian tighter and he starts crying.

“Let me go.” Brian sobs.

“Not until you calm down.”

“Please, this is just making things worse.”

“How can this be making things worse?” The medic asks.

“I’m having flashbacks to the accident that nearly killed me. The last thing I remember before I lost consciousness is the medics putting an oxygen mask on my face.”

My heart starts breaking for Brian. I never knew that about him. He must have PTSD or something. The medics switch to a nasal tube, and Brian looks slightly less panicked.

“We need to take you to the hospital.” The medic says.

“I’m fine.” Brian says.

“His vitals are starting to go back to normal.” The other medic says.

They give him oxygen a bit longer then leave. I walk back over and kneel down next to Brian.

“Feeling better?” I ask.

“Yes.”

“You need to talk to someone.” I say.

“Like who?” Brian asks.

“You need to see a shrink.”

“Fat chance. I’m not crazy.” Brian says.

“Nobody said you were, but you still need to talk to someone about what happened. They can give you something to lessen the frequency of the panic attacks.”

Brian says nothing and pushes himself up on the couch. I know he’s thinking about not seeing someone. He thinks he’s fine. I know he’s not fine. If this caused a panic attack, what will a tour do?

“I’ll talk to someone after the tour.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” Brian asks.

“The tour could make things worse.”

“So what if it does. I can deal with it.” Brian says.

“How? By postponing dates?” I ask.

“Maybe.”

I sigh and shake my head. This is a very bad idea. I know this tour could push him over the edge. If he goes over the edge, he may end up in a mental hospital. I know he’ll be in for a world of trouble if he ends up in a place like that.

How do I know this? I know this because I spent six months in a mental hospital after I tried to overdose on pills. Six months of my life I’ll never get back. Six months of being abused by the doctors while the nurses did nothing about it. I sigh again and hope the best for Brian.


	10. Nevermore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian ends up in a mental hospital after the News Of The World tour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARING: Chapter contains some f-bombs from Brian. Chapter title taken from the Queen song Nevermore. Please read and review.

**Chapter 10: Nevermore**

_'There's no living in my life anymore. The seas have gone dry and the rain stopped falling. Please don't you cry anymore. Can't you see. Listen to the breeze, whisper to me please. Don't send me to the path of nevermore. Even the valleys below. Where the rays of the sun were so warm and tender. Now haven't anything to grow. Can't you see. Why did you have to leave me? Why did you deceive me? You send me to the path of nevermore. When you say you didn't love me anymore. Nevermore. Nevermore.'-Nevermore-Queen_

Right after the News Of The World tour, I end up having a breakdown and end up in a mental hospital. I guess in my heart, I knew it was coming. The panic attacks got worse on the tour. They got to the point where we nearly had to postpone a couple dates. Fortunately, we didn’t have to do that.

I’m lounging in my room when a doctor comes in. I don’t really acknowledge him at all. It’s like I really don’t care about him at all. He walks over and sits down on the chair by my bed.

“Mr. May, my name’s Dr. Smith.” He says sticking out his hand.

I look at him and let out a huff. What is his game? He puts his hand back at his side and looks at me.

“What do you want with me?” I ask.

“I’m here to ask you some questions.” Dr. Smith says.

I let out a sigh and fold my arms across my chest.

“Ok then.”

“Start asking your questions or get out.” I say.

“Can you tell me about the accident that nearly killed you?” Dr. Smith asks.

“Can we skip this question?” I ask.

“No.” Dr. Smith says.

I let out a long sigh through my nose. I really don’t want to talk about that.

“I can’t tell you much about it because I spent several months in a coma after it happened.” I say.

“Tell me what you do remember.”

“I was driving along with my late girlfriend. We were heading home to spend Christmas with our families. I saw a car coming toward us, but there was no room to swerve to avoid it. The car hit us head on. My girlfriend was killed almost instantly and I ended up in a coma.

When I woke up in the hospital, I couldn’t feel my legs. The doctors did several surgeries to try and fix the damage that was done, but they couldn’t and I ended up paralyzed.”

“I see.”

“Anything else you want to know?” I ask.

“Well, I do think you may be faking being paralyzed.”

“I beg your pardon.” I say shocked.

“You being paralyzed is all in your head.”

“Are you fucking kidding me!” I shout.

“No Mr. May, I’m not kidding.”

“Get the fuck out of my room!”

“We’re not done yet.”

“Yes, we are!” I shout as I press the call button for the nurse.

“You need to calm down.”

I say nothing and look at the floor. Is he serious right now? He thinks me being paralyzed is all in my head. What the actual fuck is going on here? Dr. Smith goes to say something, but the nurse walks in.

“Is there something I can help you with Mr. May?” The nurse asks.

“Yes, you can get this pathetic excuse for a doctor out of here.” I say.

“Dr. Smith, I’m afraid you need to leave now.” The nurse says.

“I’m not done here.” Dr. Smith says.

“Yes you are. Now please leave.”

Dr. Smith grumbles and walks out of the room.

“Are you ok?” The nurse asks.

“No, I need a drink.” I quietly say.

“I’m afraid I can’t help you there.” The nurse says.

“I know, but thanks anyway.”

“Are you sure you’re ok?” The nurse says.

“No, I just want to go home.”

“Until we find out what’s wrong with you, you can’t go home.”

“Rats.” I say with a sigh.

The nurse walks closer and sits down on the chair by my bed.

“My name is nurse Ann. You can trust me.”

“I don’t know if I can trust anyone right now.” I say.

“What did Dr. Smith do to you?” Nurse Ann asks.

“He said that me being paralyzed it all in my head.”

My voice shakes with rage when I say this. How could anyone think that? Nurse Ann shakes her head like she can’t believe what she’s just heard.

“Unreal.” Nurse Ann says.

“You can say that again.”

“There’s no way you’re faking that.”

I raise one eyebrow and look at her puzzled. What is she saying? I look at her closer, and I somehow feel like I know here from somewhere.

“I beg your pardon?” I ask.

“I know you might not remember me, but I was one of your nurses while you were in the hospital after the accident.”

“I thought I knew you from somewhere.” I say.

“I know you’re not faking. I remember what kind of damage was done to the nerves in your back.”

I say nothing and shudder. Some of the memories from my time in the hospital come flooding back. It seems like yesterday when I was told I would never walk again. It felt like my world came crashing down around me. All I wanted to do was scream at the doctor and tell him he was wrong.

After my stay in the hospital, I ended up in a rehab facility. That’s when reality sunk in. They tried everything to get me walking again, but the damage was done. Nothing they did helped me. My legs were rendered useless all because of some drunk.

Even now, that reality haunts me. Could I have done things differently that night? Could I have tried harder to avoid the car? I honestly don’t think I could have done much differently. That drunk driver sealed my fate with one stupid decision.

I lost nearly everything that night. My girlfriend died, I ended up paralyzed from the waist down, and my entire life was nearly ruined. I guess the only good thing to come from the accident, is the fact that Melissa and I grew closer. However, my brother and I started drifting apart. I let out a long sigh and look at the floor.

“Are you ok?” Nurse Ann asks.

“No. I was thinking about the accident.”

“What about it?”

“After the accident, my brother and I started drifting apart. I’m not sure if the accident caused it or there was some other factor involved.”

“Is it possible that he was hiding something from you?”

“I don’t think Byron would or could hide much from me.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“We’re twins. I knew if he was hiding something from me. You could say I was the one person he could never surprise.”

“Are you saying you could read his mind?”

“It was almost like I could. And he could read mine. After the accident, that changed. I stopped being able to sense what he was thinking or feeling.”

“So he could be hiding something from you?”

“I guess anything is possible.”

“What do you think it could be?”

I give a shrug of my shoulders as an answer. Honestly, I don’t know what Byron could be hiding from me. Is it possible that he’s doing drugs? Or could it be something else?

“You don’t know?”

“No, but I suspect it may be drugs.” I quietly say.

“I see.” Nurse Ann says.

I let out a long sigh and rub my face with my hands. All I want to do is either sleep or kill myself. Once again, I want to end it all. I drop my arms to my sides and sigh. Nurse Ann takes the hint and leaves the room.

I just wish I was normal. But, what is normal? God knows being a rock star isn’t normal. I guess I would call Byron’s life normal. But is it really?

Is his life really normal? Also, what is he hiding from me? God how I wish I could just go home to my family. I want to see my wife and son. As I’m thinking, there’s a knock on my door.

The door opens and Cozy walks in. He walks over to the chair by my bed and sits down.

“How are you doing?” Cozy asks.

I give a shrug of my shoulders as an answer.

“You don’t know?”

“I’m fine, I guess.” I say with a sigh.

“Are you sure?”

“No.”

“What happened?”

“The doctor said that me being paralyzed was all in my head.” I say.

“What?” Cozy asks puzzled.

“The doctor thought I was faking being paralyzed.”

“You’re kidding.” Cozy says shocked.

“I wish I was.”

“Why would he say a thing like that?” Cozy asks.

“I don’t really know.”

“I don’t think you’re faking.” Cozy says.

“The nurse didn’t think I was either.”

“Did she say that?” Cozy asks.

“Yes. She was my nurse when I was in the hospital after the accident.”

“Makes sense.” Cozy says.

“I guess.”

“What do you mean by that?” Cozy asks puzzled.

“I don’t know anymore.” I quietly say.

“You don’t know?”

“Cozy, nothing has been the same for me since the accident. More often than not, I think about how different things could have been if the accident had never happened. I don’t know why this happened to me and I don’t know if it could have been prevented. All I know is that the accident did happen and I ended up paralyzed.”

“Brian...” Cozy says.

“I know you think I’m nuts for thinking like this, but that’s just how I think.”

“I wasn’t going to say that at all.”

“What were you going to say then?” I ask.

“I was going to say that many people who experience trauma like that tend to think like you do. They think about the what ifs.”

“Oh.” I quietly say.

“I’m sure your life would have been much different had the accident not happened.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be here.” I say.

“True.”

“And Byron wouldn’t be hiding something from me.”

“What’s he hiding from you?” Cozy asks.

“I don’t know. I was hoping you could tell me.”

“I don’t know what he’s hiding either.” Cozy says.

“Oh.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find out.”

“When? When he runs off again?” I ask.

“He has to have some reason for running off like he does.”

“So, you noticed that too.” I say

“It’s hard not to.”

“Where do you think he goes?” I ask.

“He hasn’t told you?” Cozy asks.

“No. He never tells me where he’s been.”

“Odd.” Cozy says.

“Yeah, Byron is a bit odd.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.”

“Well, I have to go. I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” Cozy says and stands up.

He then turns and leaves the room. I’m once again alone with my thoughts. They seem to be getting the better of me. I just hope that once I get out of here things will be better for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of warning for the next chapter. I will be skipping ahead several years. The next chapter will take place in 1985 around the time of the Live Aid show.


End file.
